The Loft
by JoyfulMariska
Summary: The Commissioner wore a solemn expression. "The department has been over the entire city of New York - twice. I understand the gravity of this situation, but a morning motion in a meeting between Suffolk County Police, NYPD, and surrounding county officials was passed to suspend the search for Sergeant Olivia Benson." A screaming silence fell between them. "I'm sorry."
1. Chapter 1

For some reason, I'm struggling big time with writer's block on the stories I have currently running. Fear not - updates for those will be coming, whether it's tomorrow or in a month, they're coming. I decided to turn to another idea I had - title courtesy of the movie "The Loft" (which I haven't even seen, but was inspired by its trailer). I would love some encouragement, so please please try to review this first chapter. Depending on the response, I'll see how much time will go between each update. I'm really going to try to stay on top of this one! Thank you for being willing to give it a whirl. I hope it's worth your time!

-Ellie

* * *

The night was growing late at the 1-6, and Olivia could see the exhaustion that she felt reflected in the eyes of her detectives. She stood from her office chair and stood in the threshold of the door.

"You guys have put in a lot of hours this week. Go home. Turn your phones off. I'll let the weekend crew know you're not on call this week." She sighed heavily as she dropped her hands into her pocket.

Nick, Amanda, Fin, and Carisi looked up from their work.

"Only if you turn off your phone and take the weekend off too." Fin smiled at her.

Olivia offered a small, tired smile in return as she hesitated.

"Liv you put in way more hours this week than we did." Amanda added.

Olivia nodded a little. "Alright. Get outta here."

When she returned from gathering her things in her office, Amanda was the only one remaining in the squad room.

"Come on, Detective." Olivia took her coat from the back of the chair in which she sat.

Amanda finished the line on the file she had been working on, standing with a small grin. She put her jacket on, hoping it was enough to keep off the early December cold. They walked out together.

"Plans for the weekend?" Olivia inquired quietly, opting for the stairs to head down.

Amanda followed suit, shaking her head. "Few quiet days to myself. You?"

Olivia sighed again. "More of the same. Probably should work on getting my tree up. Only what - two weeks until Christmas?"

Amanda walked with her out into the chilled air. "Crazy, right? Doesn't feel like that long ago we were on duty New Years Eve."

Olivia stopped as Amanda found her vehicle, reaching for the handle. "Almost a year."

Amanda saw something change in her eyes as she drifted back to a time well past.

"A lot can happen." The blonde added carefully.

Olivia took a deep breath. "A lot can change."

Amanda gave her a sad smile. After a pause, Olivia turned to go, reflecting the same smile. "Goodnight, Amanda."

"Night, Liv."

* * *

Eight Months Later

It was unreal. It was impossible. Amanda sat in her desk cradling her face in her hands. There was no comfort she could offer herself, none others could try to give her.

That last exchange had been the last time anyone had seen Olivia Benson in eight months.

Amanda couldn't shake it. How could everything have changed so fast? They had left the precinct together, planning for a quiet weekend. How, then, had it ended up as the start of a eight month battle against the odds, an investigation chasing ghosts? It had been the worst four months of her entire life. With what she and the team had found in Olivia's apartment, she cursed herself when she almost hoped whoever had taken Olivia had killed her. But then there was her son, waiting for her every day to come home.

Amanda jumped at the hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find Fin standing above her, his face tired.

"Commissioner's here."

Amanda stood, meeting Nick and Carisi in her sergeant's office. The walls were still the way Liv had made them. Her pictures, her medals, her awards, they were all still gracing the walls of the chilly room.

The detectives were joined only by NYPD Commissioner Reagan and his right hand man. He wore a solemn expression on his face, showing how hard the search had been on him as well.

He knew Olivia. They were well aware of that. After Lewis and everything she'd gone through with him, she'd become the department's hero. Reagan had known her even long before that.

He shifted his weight. "The department has been over the entire city of New York - twice. I understand the gravity of the situation, but a morning motion in a meeting between Suffolk County Police, NYPD, and surrounding county officials was passed to suspend the search for Sergeant Olivia Benson."

Nick lost feeling in his legs, nearly falling to the ground. Amanda's mouth hung open as she tried to process. Reagan scanned their faces, feeling their horror himself.

"This doesn't mean the case is closed -"

"Yeah it just means we're waiting for a recovery - not a rescue." Carisi's words pierced the tension.

"What if we are?" Regan remained composed as he threw a question softly back. He didn't want to think about it, but he knew how long it had been.

"You've been on this force for a long time - all of you. Think." He remained quiet, projecting to them he didn't believe it either.

_She had to be out there somewhere. Right? Olivia Benson would never disappear without a trace._

But she had.

No one could find words through their anger, fear, and desperation. Nick paced to the back of the room, his hands keeping his head from flying off.

"She's been gone for eight months. There hasn't been anything for us to go off of since the first week. We have nothing, and the cops out there looking for her can't keep chasing shadows." He paused to let them take his words slowly.

"I'm sorry. Excuse me." Commissioner Reagan left, his sidekick following him out of the office and out of sight.

Nick was the first one to find words.

"It's been too fucking long." He swore forcefully, spitting it through his teeth as he finally allowed himself to say it out loud.

It had been too long that Olivia had been gone. Most victims were killed within 48 hours of their abduction. They knew that.

Olivia had survived more than 96 before, but this was different. It had been days, not hours - months, not weeks. Nick hung his head as he leaned on the desk in the room.

Fin stood still in silence, remembering his best friend's face as it was. He felt his heart dropping every time he remembered that he might not ever see it again. He felt himself forgetting her voice, and it killed him. He had to know if she was still out there, worth them continuing the painful search.

"I hope they killed her." Amanda knew how strange it sounded to her own ears, to them. But they understood her. As much as they hoped for a rescue, they'd seen the blood. They almost wished her dead thinking about what eight months of whatever she was going through would do to her. If someone had kept her that long, it was for the most evil motives, they had no doubt.

"We can't just give up, though." Fin found his voice. "If it _is _her -" he struggled to say it "- her body we're looking for, then we're going to bring her home. I don't care how long that takes us."

He finished as his voice trembled. The others nodded in silence. They separated. Fin, Amanda, and Carisi headed home for the night, unable to focus on anything else.

* * *

The city was dark when Nick finally stepped out of the precinct's front door that night. The lump in his throat always hurt when he called it a day - especially then. The front door always had at least five people standing in the humid evenings, candles flickering in their hands as they faced the small wooden memorial.

It broke him to know that the officers had had nothing to do with it. The memorial was completely assembled by members of the public, just a few of the thousands of people Olivia had saved.

Four officers joined the large group gathered under the stars. Olivia's picture showed her strength, her courage. The candles that surrounded its frame revealed the colorful flowers that laid around it. Nick swallowed back tears, lighting a candle near her picture, taking a long look at the only remaining image he had of the woman he hadn't seen in almost nine months.

With his eye blurring with tears that never seemed to be able to hold themselves back, he turned away, still hoping for a miracle. He did the thing he swore he wouldn't, simply because he knew how much it would hurt him. He put his phone to his ear, crumbling as soon as he got into his car.

It rang six times before it went to voicemail.

_"Hey, it's Liv. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." _

The voice of a ghost.

He fell apart. He couldn't keep from crying in hysterics. There was nothing he could do to bring her back. It made him wish he was there with her - wherever she was.

* * *

Stay tuned for an update! Hope to hear what you thought


	2. Chapter 2

This is an updated version of chapter 2. I'm really sorry for the time between updates!

* * *

Amanda locked her apartment door behind her when she arrived home that hot night, leaning against it as her legs became incapable of holding her up. She closed her eyes, fighting the pressure to give up and admit it to herself. Just before she did, her internal wall went up again. If she admitted it to herself it would be that much more probable. Olivia couldn't be dead.

She was not going to meet the end of her life that way. It just wasn't fair.

Amanda tossed her keys to the counter as she shed her jacket and grabbed the case file. Eight months and not a single lead. There were no prints, no DNA of any kind left behind by whoever it was that had brutally attacked her and her child The cameras on the lower level of the apartment had recycled before they'd even known she was missing. They had nothing. It had been almost nine months and they had no idea where she was, who had taken her, or if she was even still alive.

* * *

When Carisi walked into his apartment, he immediately sat down at his counter with the case file open in front of him. It was the most hopeless case in his career, and it only made him felt worse that it was his sergeant he couldn't find - not just someone out in the city.

He put his head to the grindstone as he did every night. He went over every detail again and again on every page in the file. He read the short paragraph. It was all the evidence they'd found.

_Blood stain on bed: DNA positive match to Sergeant Olivia Benson -_

He had to swallow to keep from throwing up. Each time he read that, though he'd done it every night for eight months, it always horrified him.

_\- security footage: man exiting apartment at 1:04 A.M. with rolling suitcase -_

Carisi hung his head, diverting his eyes from the text. That suitcase was hardly big enough to fit any grown woman. It was hard to believe that she was in one piece when he rolled her out - but they had to believe she was. She had to be alive in there. There wasn't anything in her apartment suggesting she wasn't.

He continued to read.

_\- parking camera recycled any possible footage of man's vehicle - no hits in DNA - necklace found on bathroom floor of vic's apartment - _

and that's where the evidence ended. And Noah. Oh, Noah.

* * *

Fin tossed his coat across the room when he shut his door behind him. His emotions swirled into a mass of anger that he tried to let out by whipping his empty glass of scotch at the wall. It did nothing to relieve him of his pain.

He grabbed the one picture from the crime scene that haunted him, but brought familiarity and reality back. It was Olivia's gold 'Fearlessness' necklace lying on the tiles of her bathroom floor, blood spattered on it. He took a deep breath. She didn't need her necklace to stay the way she'd always been. He knew that. But he wished, if she was alive out there somewhere, that she could have it just to remind her to keep fighting.

He laid on the couch listlessly. What if she was alive, waiting, wondering why no one had come? The mere idea sent pains through his chest. She had to know they were trying.

It was like he'd lost all power and respect he had. He was a police officer, a damn good one at that, and he could do nothing to find one of his best friends, his own sergeant. She had vanished without more than a hideously giant blood stain.

The blood was all hers. That's the only thing CSU could confirm. No one had seen her leave the building, but her suitcase was missing. He shuddered every time he remembered that one detail. It had been hardly the size to fit any human being. If her assailant had shoved her in there, he might have just broken every bone in her body to do it.

Every minute he sat without knowing where she was, alive or dead, was a minute he wished he was there with her. He'd take anything she'd taken. God knew she'd been given more than her fair share of hardships and pain. It wasn't right that this was happening again.

* * *

Brian got the call from Fin when he was sitting, pretending to watch the baseball game on Munch's TV. Munch sat up as soon as Brian answered, watching intently. After months of hopes dashed, the call gave him what felt like the biggest kick in the ass he'd gotten during the grueling search.

He hung up, reporting to Munch after some hesitation. "They called off the search."

His voice sounded his defeat to his best friend. Munch laid his head back as he said it. They had both known the day was coming.

"Not for us." Munch whispered.

Brian stood to grab another drink. "Munch what are we gonna find?"

Munch turned to look back at his friend. He was tempted to get defensive, shaming Brian for thinking that way. But he could deny it no longer either.

"I don't know."

* * *

Eight Months Earlier

The weekend had passed quietly, a well-deserved break for the detectives. They couldn't have known how their sergeant had spent it. When they met one another in the squad room that Monday morning, they noted the absence of their sergeant. Nick was the last one to sit down in his desk, greeting Fin, Amanda, and Carisi.

"Searg slept in this morning?" He joked lightly.

Carisi leaned back as he bit into a donut and held his cup of coffee, shrugging in answer to the question.

"I made a kickass pot of coffee this morning. You're welcome." He put his feet up as he enjoyed his breakfast.

Amanda got up to get herself some. "We'll see."

Fin chuckled as she made a face when the liquid touched her lips.

"I don't think it's possible to make a good pot of coffee here." Nick shook his head as he took out the last of his paperwork.

They joked and pried at one another while they waited for Olivia to give them their case. Nick began to grow uneasy with her delay, checking his watch: 9:00. That wasn't right. He picked up his phone, calling her as the others continued their conversations. It rang six times.

_"Hey, it's Liv. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."_

He shook his head. Her phone was on, and she hadn't answered?

"I'm going to head over to Liv's - just make sure everything is aright." He stood, taking his keys and phone with him.

He stood at her door after only fifteen minutes, knocking uneasily. Something was wrong.

Liv - it's Nick." He knocked again, harder this time.

The small fear he had crept from the pit of his stomach into the cavity of his chest. It pressed heavily on his heart.

"Come on, Liv. Open up. You can't scare me like this again."

Nothing but silence answered him.

"I'm coming in." He pushed his own key into the lock on the door. He crossed the threshold of her apartment in numbing terror. He couldn't feel his legs as they moved into the apartment.

His heart began an unstoppable race as he blinked hard, hoping it wasn't what he was really seeing. Everything was torn apart.

It was more chilling than when they found it that same way after Lewis' initial attack. This time, Nick had no idea who'd done it - or why. His feet pressed on even as his heart begged him to stop. Nick put a hand to his gaping mouth when he reached her room.

The blood stain on the bedsheets was big. Its crimson contrasted against the white of the bedsheets, dripping almost the entire length of the rug to where he stood.

"Oh my god." Chills coiled down his spine.

It was hardly fresh. It could've been more than a day she'd been gone.

Immediately he felt his heart drop to his toes. Noah.

"Noah!" He stumbled around the corner to Noah's room. "Noah!"

Every time he said it, his voice grew louder in his panic. He found him, the little one curled up in his crib, his face away from Nick. It didn't help him feel any less panicked. He reached into the crib to turn the small boy over.

His skin was cold to the touch.

His face was a ghastly white, eyes closed in his permanent sleep as his chest had ceased all movement.

The small bruise was evident on his small neck, a dead giveaway at how he'd left the world. Nick swallowed hard, falling backward into the doorframe as his stomach flipped in agony. He was too horrified to cry. The only sounds coming from him were terrified shouts.

"Oh God. Oh my God."

He blinked twice, three times, four to make sure he was really awake. It wasn't some terrible nightmare, but he didn't believe it. He'd wake up. He had to.

Nick couldn't stop it. His stomach heaved as the lump in his throat suffocated him.

He made it to her bathroom just in time to toss his breakfast. When he leaned up from the toilet, he found his radio on his belt. His hands shook almost too much to operate it.

"Detective Nick Amaro, 16th Precinct Manhattan SVU." _"Go ahead, Detective."_ "10-13. I need - Officer in need of assistance."

* * *

CSU was on the scene in full force within ten minutes. Nick stood just inside the apartment door, his arms crossed as he tried to make himself feel again. It was like his entire body was empty. He jumped at his name.

"Nick." Amanda was leading Fin and Carisi through the crowd of officers outside the door. They ducked under the tape.

Her eyes were wide. "What happened?" She panted.

Nick shook his head. "The place is trashed. There's blood -"

The needles of uneasiness turned to nails in their stomachs.

"They leave anything?" Fin asked, also out of breath.

Nick swallowed so hard his throat protested in pain. "Liv's gone. Noah's - Noah is -"

He couldn't finish it. If he did, it would have to be real.

"We've got guys going over the security camera footage downstairs and people checking local business cameras that could give us anything." One of the technicians came over to them. "So far, there's no hallway footage showing her leaving with anyone. Might've gone down a fire escape. We'll let you know if we get anything else."

No one acknowledged him. Amanda took Nick's arm, about to question what he'd found when the coroner's team excused themselves and headed into the back bedroom.

"Oh my god." Amanda's face twisted in pure agony, her stomach heaving as she choked back sobs.

Nick did the only thing he could. "It's Noah."

Carisi's heart leapt uneasily. He put his hands on top of his head as he turned away from the group, pacing into the living room. Fin accepted the desperate hug Amanda gave him. She needed help to keep from falling down.

Olivia was gone.

Her little boy was dead.

The world was suddenly upside down.


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia walked into her apartment after the long Friday she'd put in at work. It was time for a weekend off, as winter closed in.

"Hey Lucy." She called out with exhaustion dripping in her voice, but when Lucy came around the corner holding Noah, even her tired eyes couldn't help but sparkle.

The small boy, not so small as he had been, reached out for Olivia, his mouth saying the word she'd never tire of reached for him and he wrapped his arms around her, laying his head upon the only safety he'd ever known.

"Mama's here." She cradled him gently as Lucy grabbed her things and turned to go.

"Thanks, Lucy. You can take the weekend off for sure. I'm off work the whole time."

Lucy smiled. "Good for you. You deserve a break. I'll see you on Monday then?"

Olivia nodded, opening the door for her. "Sounds good. Goodnight."

Noah played with the neck of Liv's shirt as he rested in the crook of her shoulder.

"You're so tired, baby." She rubbed his back soothingly, feeling her own tiredness creeping back into her mind. "Let's go read a story and head to bed, huh?"

Fifteen minutes later, Noah was sound asleep as Olivia turned the light out in his room. With a deep sigh, she took to the shower, letting the scalding water fall over her skin, making it a fiery red as she washed away the day. Her pajamas were rough against her sensitive skin as she pulled them on and crawled into bed waiting for the morning to rid the room of shadows. Her eyes had closed for hours, sleep taking her off to a peaceful darkness.

It was 3:00 that same night that the man took his steps gingerly, silently across her living room floor. The deep sleep she was finally experiencing was wary of leaving her, and so she slept without hearing it. The bedroom door opened without protest, not a squeak or groan. There she was, lying there as defenseless as he'd seen her. A smile spread across his face as he took two steps in. Then he stopped, letting the knife in his hand dangle by his legs, the small amount of light coming from the closed blinds on the windows reflecting off of it ominously.

Olivia awoke when she felt pressure on the bed, something cold on her throat. Her gasp was audible to him as he pinned her down with his body. His knife was to her neck, waiting impatiently to kill her.

"Shhhh." He put a gloved hand to his lips as she breathed heavily beneath him.

It was a nightmare. It had to be. She watched him straight in the eye as he smiled down at her, pushing the blade down. And her last thought went immediately to her sleeping son in the room just adjacent to her own, praying the man didn't know he was there.

* * *

She sat with only one light on as she waited in silence, alone. Her feet were stable beneath her as she left the couch and walked into the kitchen. She was living in a prison. The cool water felt good sliding down her hoarse throat. She glanced at the blacked-out window at her reflection. The injury gracing her cheek was her punishment for trying to get help - just one last time. She had hoped someone would hear her. No one had.

Her shoulders sagged in defeat and exhaustion as she paced to the balcony doors, glass that framed a high view of the city, the untouchable city. It was locked. They always made sure that she wouldn't be able to walk out and do something to draw attention. She glanced at the glass in her head, pondering the idea of shattering the glass with it. She shook her head, speaking aloud to herself in her dissociative state.

"You tried that already, remember? Fucking plexiglass."

There wasn't much that scared her anymore, but whenever she heard feet on the way up the staircase - coming to the loft - she felt her ability to breathe stop. It always meant the same thing. It had been eight months; they made sure to remind her of that every day. She'd waited for her team. And now she was almost past the point of wishing for a rescue.

She felt so different, so broken, that she didn't know if she could bear having the squad having to know everything that had happened. Besides, they might never find her anyway. To keep hope, she decided, was vain. These men wouldn't kill her, because then their fortune and fun would be lost. But then there was Noah. She had to get back for him, her little boy. That's why she had to keep trying.

Olivia stepped back, taking her glass and whipping it at the only thing between her and a leap to freedom. The glass slammed against the door, bouncing right back - the door and the glass unharmed. She left the glass on the ground, surprised it hadn't shattered. She walked to the kitchen and tried something else.

The first knife hit the inside panel of the unused pantry. The second landed close to the first, the third closer yet. Three, four, five more hit the wood. It was like second nature. The knives, when removed, left splinters of wood around the hole in the panel. There were hundreds of those same marks. Her shrunken, bony frame approached after she'd thrown the set of knives again. Her hand, veiny and white, reached out and wrenched the knives from the wood.

For a moment she paused, thinking how easy it would be to use any one of them to slit her wrists, how fast the pain would go away. But only for her. She reminded herself what the knives were even there for. They were taunting her. The men were enjoying the mind game they had her stuck in, telling her she could take her life at any moment, but knowing there was no way she could. That's why she was throwing them, to use them against the men who'd put them there to torture her.

The next time they came through the door, it'd be over. One good throw and they were done. The feet were on the stairs again, and she immediately shut the pantry, dropping to the floor behind the kitchen counter. The keys were in the door. The handle moved. The footsteps entered. She waited to hear three and then stood up abruptly, wielding the knife at the first man she saw. It caught him in the left shoulder. The minute she crouched to grab another, she was hit by 230 pounds of muscle and crumpled to the floor.

"Nice try."


	4. Chapter 4

My sincere apologies for the lack of updates for an extremely long time. I'll have the next chapter to this posted very soon. Life's been a bit tough lately, but I would so appreciate feedback. It really does make my days brighter getting to hear from you all. I'll also update "Standing Still" as soon as possible as well. If you have any ideas for "Empty Room," I'm totally open to getting back into writing some missing scenes from the Save Benson Saga. Let me know.

Thank you for your patience and encouragement.

Xx - Ellie

* * *

Olivia laid in her bed among the sheets, rough against her sensitive skin. She breathed heavily as she recovered from the most recent assault. She'd heard the leader of the group recording what was on TV - with more tears crawling from the corners of her eyes to her hairline as she laid, she remembered what she'd heard the commissioner saying. The NYPD was no longer searching for her. They were convinced she was dead. She almost wished she was.

The silence of the room added to the throbbing of every nerve in her body. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, alone as the men were out somewhere in the city with their wives.

Her hand grew weary, still cuffed above her head to the bed frame. In their high after their time with her, they'd left without unlocking them. Olivia had pulled and kicked at it, needing to shower them off her again. It did nothing.

She closed her eyes, images of the camera in her face throughout the night haunting her. She didn't even have to be sure what of was different than when it had recorded them all the other times - she just knew something was. The money they'd made off of her performances on tape was often flaunted in her face, but she knew that with the commissioner's introduction to the video what their plan was. Someone she knew, someone in power in the NYPD was going to find it.

She'd spent over half a year with them. She knew their purpose. They'd told her more than once, and she knew that if the NYPD suspended their search, the game they craved was over. Olivia yanked at the cuff again, whimpering as it snapped against her bruised wrist.

She closed her eyes again, feeling everything her partner did in that same moment. It was a deeper connection than she'd thought, but the time away from him showed her how powerful it really was. Her team, him - they were the reason she was still alive.

The mental assault the men subjected her to was only made worse by their baiting her to end her own life. There were knives in the kitchen, razors in the bathroom. She remembered the last time she'd tried to surprise attack them as they came through the door with one of the butcher's knives in her hand. It had ended with her arm badly cut, and all five taking turns. She knew not to do it again. This time, she would throw another one. She'd practiced every day for months. The only reason she walked past those knives every day without picking one up and ending her life was them - her team, her friends.

* * *

Cory opened the door quietly as he entered his home that night.

"Hey, Hon." His wife's voice came from within the house.

"Hey." He replied with a smile. "Your dinner is ready to be heated up. Why don't you come in here and grab a plate."

She was under the impression that he'd returned from a long day at work. Wrong.

He nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him. "I'm gonna change quick. I'll be right there."

He took the stairs up to their bedroom, closing the door as he set his bag upon the quilt. He sorted the DVDs out and took a marker to label them each with dates. He picked up his phone.

"Mike - I need to know when it's done." He spoke to the man on the other end authoritatively.

_"It is. Clark called. It's been on his desk for a few hours now. It won't be long until they respond, I'm sure." _

Cory nodded as he loosened his tie and dropped it to the bed.

"Shit, Mike - we left her cuffed again." He put a hand to his forehead.

_"So what? She's already stuck there anyway." _

"She'll make a mess. Dammit. She'll piss all over the bed." Cory spat, realizing with a start that he was speaking loudly. "Go over there and uncuff her, Mike."

The man on the other end scoffed. _"Why don't you, buddy? I've got a family too."_

"If you don't get your ass over there, you're gonna be cleaning up the mess."

* * *

Fin invited little of the lights of the city into his apartment as he sat on the couch, listening to the words he'd already heard once that same day. The commissioner stood in front of the entire city of New York, telling them that the search for Olivia Benson was over. He grabbed the remote and turned the volume up.

_"This doesn't mean we close the case." _

He scoffed at his words. Yeah. It basically did.

"No, Reagan, it just means we'll never find her, whether or not she needs finding." Fin spoke over him with bitter sarcasm.

* * *

Mike took the climb up to the top floor of the building, opening the door that led to the staircase to the loft. It gave him a feeling so invigorating every time he unlocked that door. No one knew it existed. The entire building was under ownership of a man they held the agreement with. He would tell no one. He enjoyed his nights with Olivia Benson too much.

Mike climbed the last stairs. When he unlocked the door at the top of the stairs, he noted how dark the loft was.

"Hey, Liv." He spoke to the darkness as he flipped on the light.

There she was, lying in the sheets, not a piece of clothing on her.

She didn't look at him. She knew better than to ask for anything more.

"Boss sent me to uncuff ya. Doesn't want you making a mess." He approached her, making her heart rate increase exponentially.

She hated everything about him - his smell, his voice. He freed her wrist, and she grabbed for the sheets at her feet, wrapping one around her as she swore at him, standing to head to the bathroom.

"And he sent you, you little fucker?" She spat at the little man. He was no match for her, even as weak as she'd become.

Mike laughed, pretending to be insulted. "Ooh. Playing hardball."

Olivia changed her course, headed instead for the kitchen. Her legs hurt. Everything hurt. But her mind was still working.

"You know, your little ADA friend is gonna be watching the little show we had. Dropped it on his desk a few hours ago." He knew how to get to her.

Olivia stopped in front of the kitchen counter, pulling the sheet closer around her. Barba would have to see it. He'd have to know what they'd been doing to her for more than half a year. Her deep breath cleared her mind. She was more fired up than she'd been in a long time. Her spark had gone within the first few months they'd held her, but in that moment, she got it back. Somehow, her head was still on straight.

Her eyes glowed as her hands reached for the knife. From behind her she could hear Mike speaking with his back to her. She still had her acute senses. He wasn't watching her planning his demise, her escape. Olivia held the cool metal handle in her hand, feeling the blade slip from the holder. She turned around as she gritted her teeth, ready to pay him back for everything he and the others had done to her.

She knew they always carried guns. It didn't matter. It was now or never. Death or escape, escaped in death. After he finished his ramble, he turned around. There was no time for him to reach for his gun. The knife Olivia threw with such vengeance pierced him in the sternum. He crumpled to his knees as she rushed to him, taking him the rest of the way to the floor. She had to make sure he didn't pick up his phone or gun. He didn't. He only laughed as he spit out the blood beginning to flood his lungs.

"You think you won this, Sweetheart?" He taunted her with his last breaths.

Olivia ripped the knife out as she pinned him down. She held it to his throat. "It is. I told you you didn't know who you'd grabbed."

Mike nodded weakly. "We did. That's why - we picked you. The magnitude of your attention - you're a hero. Every man in the city would have paid to get a turn with you."

He coughed a wet cough.

Olivia pressed the blade toward him, seething. "You're going straight to hell."

She watched him take his last gulp of air. Then she ripped the phone from his pocket, immediately dialing.

_ "911 - what is your emergency?"_


	5. Chapter 5

There was no doubt about it, Nick was having trouble keeping hope. It had been so long. She disappeared without hardly a trace, leaving only her blood behind. As he tossed in bed that night, he thought about everything he hadn't said to her. Did she know how much he need her? Would she ever know? He stared into the darkness plastered on the ceiling. His mind didn't stop, and only an hour later he found himself sitting in the precinct as the night carried on. It was then that he turned around to a familiar voice.

"Amaro."

Barba's face was grim, dark circles around his eyes showing how much he'd given to the investigation.

Nick checked his watch. "It's 3:00 a.m., Barba. What are you doing here?" He leaned back in his chair, watching the tired man walk to where he could sit down.

Nick could see it in his face. Something was wrong. "What?"

Barba couldn't hide the terror he felt for Olivia, or for the rest of the team. "A packet of DVD's showed up on my desk tonight. Someone had dropped it in the mail room after everything was taken out for the day."

Nick swallowed hard. "And?"

"It's Liv." Barba's voice faltered and cut out as he held back the emotion he often concealed. He couldn't. Not this time. "She's alive."

Nick stood up, suddenly re-energized in the night. "You're sure?"

Barba sighed deeply with a nod. "Yeah." He remembered the face of the woman he used to know so pale, so different in that video he'd watched mere moments of. "They have a TV. The first thing on the DVD was the Commissioner announcing the suspension of the search. It was from tonight."

Nick's heart pounded against his chest so hard he thought he was going to explode. He spat out what he swore he wouldn't ask, something he already knew.

"They - have they -?" He stopped, unable to continue.

Barba wasn't able to hide the tears in his eyes as he nodded slowly.

Nick felt like he'd been shot. "Were they -?" He tried to go on, but couldn't. It hurt too badly.

Barba nodded again, and Nick watched tears fall from the brims of his tired eyes down his cheeks. The ADA leaned forward covering his face with his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.

Nick felt his own emotions spiraling out of control. He was exhausted. And he had no way of imagining where she was spending her night, with who. He had no power to find her. He put a hand to his mouth as tears left trails on his own face.

"They're going through the footage now - see if there's any way to identify them." He stopped abruptly, realizing the spear he'd just sent through Nick.

Nick choked on a sob. More than one. "How do we know they didn't kill her right after they shot the video? Make us look like idiots chasing our tails with a dead lead."

It came out without him even knowing he was speaking. Barba cleared his throat, his face suddenly solemn. There was no sign of emotion. He needed to appear strong.

"We don't."

* * *

_"911 - what is your emergency?"_

"Sergeant Olivia Benson - NYPD. I'm at 84th Street West Central Park in need of immediate assistance. Please. Hurry." Her voice shook as the operator took an audible breath.

She knew Olivia Benson. The whole city did.

_"Help is on the way. Stay on the line with me, ok?"_

"There's something else - the man who owns this building, David Cortese - he's one of them. I'm in the loft - the top floor. It's not in the blueprints."

She spoke hurriedly, knowing it would be only a matter of moments before David and his workers had someone sent up to check on Mike. The men always announced how long they'd be upstairs, and if that time were to be prolonged, someone always came knocking to make sure Olivia hadn't tried to pull a move on them. They always had their bases covered. Always.

_"I'll make sure police and SWAT know that. They're en route."_

* * *

Nick was still sitting with Barba, hashing over the case late in the night when Nick's cell phone rang. He picked it up immediately.

"Amaro."

_"Nick - it's Greg." _

Nick straightened. Greg was one of the most involved people in the search for Olivia - he was with the FDNY.

_"We just got called out on a 10-13 to 84th Central Park West - Cortese Enterprises. Chief said NYPD, SWAT and EMTs are meeting us there. It's Liv." _

Nick's heart dropped to his toes and leapt into his throat at the same time. Barba took note of his face.

_"Thought you'd want a heads up." _

Nick nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Yeah Thanks."

He hung up, heading straight for the cabinet just off interrogation that held the flak jackets. He tossed one to Barba as he strapped one on.

"What?! Nick what was that?"

Nick strapped on his gun and badge, jogging out to the elevator. "Fire department, EMS, and SWAT is headed to Central Park West. Says it was Liv who called it in."

* * *

Amanda's phone rang, and she jumped out of her restless sleep, grabbing for her cell quickly. It was only 2 a.m.

_"Amanda - it's Nick. Get your vest, gun, and badge and get to 84th Central Park West - the Cortese building. It's Liv."_

The young detective didn't hang up. She just dropped the phone, throwing on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt under her vest. She barely had her shoes on as she took her keys, gun, and badge out the door with her. Every sense she had was on overdrive. It was the first lead in over 8 months of her sergeant's abduction.

* * *

Fin and Carisi both were awakened by the same sound - their phones. They were choking on emotion and struggling for air as they threw on the first clothes they saw and dressed in their vests, toting their wallet and badges as they left their homes. It was unreal. It was terrifying.

* * *

Commissioner Reagan was trying to sleep when his own phone rang. He answered in the empty room.

_"Commissioner. I'm sorry to wake you, but this is important."_ His secretary was speaking so fast he could hardly understand her.

_"There was a 911 call made from Central Park West just a few minutes ago - from a woman claiming to be Olivia Benson. SWAT, FDNY, and EMS are on the way."_

Reagan sat up straight, pushing his glasses onto his face as he moved to stand. "I'm going."

_"Sir-" _

"Send me the address." A pause. "Caroline. There's something you're not telling me."

He was unimpressed as he sensed her hesitation.

_"Sir, it's 84th Street - the Cortese building. Sergeant Benson alleged the owner is one of her assailants."_

Reagan sighed deeply. "We'll take care of that later. You send everyone we've got." He slipped on the shirt that graced the foot of his bed. "Let's bring her home."

* * *

Olivia heard the sirens outside. She glanced out the window as soon as she'd buttoned a pair of jeans and tossed a loose shirt over her bruised body. The lights reflected off every bit of moisture on the window. The fire department, police, and SWAT had all arrived almost simultaneously. She felt as if she'd pass out. Her relief battled with the very real possibility that the men manning the desk on the first floor would precede the police. They knew where the loft was. The police didn't.

By the time SWAT even made it to the loft, they might only find her dead body. Her arms shook as she grabbed the revolver from Mike's pocket. At least she'd try to defend herself. She searched every pocket he had, finding one key. The one to the door? To the balcony? The handcuffs? She didn't care. He wouldn't be using it. No one would.

* * *

They were clear on who was giving orders as soon as they stepped off the rig. "We're going to take three first responders, ten SWAT, five FDNY, and seven NYPD up. The rest of you will be sweeping the building. If the owner's in on this, we're going to be racing to the top."

Nick and Barba came jogging from around the corner as the man in charge held his large gun. The cars just kept coming. More and more personnel screeched to a halt, hoping to bring their own home safely.

"Don't hesitate. The only one we're bringing back is Sergeant Benson. If anyone is willing to jump in front of us, they've got a hand in it."

Nick swallowed hard, glancing to Barba as he did so.

"FDNY, three SWAT, and four NYPD - take the stairs. The rest of you, elevator."

They were moving. Nick drew his gun and moved with them towards the doorway. He stopped in his tracks when he heard his name.

"Detective Amaro. You can't go in there." He turned to find Commissioner Reagan strapping his vest on.

"That's my partner in there." He pleaded, his voice troubled. He felt he was going to explode. His partner, the woman he'd thought he lost forever was only floors away, and he could do nothing to make sure she was alive when they got to her. He'd lose it if he knew that between the time when she'd made the 911 call and now that they'd killed her.

"I know. I know." Reagan stood tall in the night, waiting, watching for them to bring Olivia out. "But they know what they're doing."

"They don't even know her." Nick argued, his voice trembling now. "If they did they'd know to do everything they can to save her."

Barba put a hand on Nick's shoulder as they heard shouting from down the street. Amanda and Carisi jogged toward them in the middle of the chaos. The NYPD was stringing up barricades on the road, their patrol cars twenty deep on the road. The lights flashed off every drop of condensation there was in the humid air.

"They get her?" Amanda choked out.

"No."

* * *

Olivia heard footsteps on the stairs - but not enough. There were too few to be her rescuers. They were coming to end it. The game was over. They were done toying with the police, and they were about to play the last move, the 'Check mate.'

Olivia held the revolver and the knife in her hand as she moved backwards in the room toward the balcony doors, their bulletproof glass suddenly at her mercy. She weighed her options. Shoot at the glass. Risk it not crumbling with 3 shots and sacrifice precious ammunition. No. She couldn't. Instead she moved to the door, aiming her gun at it. The moment the locks turned, the bullets would ricochet through the door, killing whoever it was on the other side. But what if it WAS the police?

Her moment of doubt cost her, and the door flew open, revealing the man she had to have known was coming. He was a tenant in the building, a frequent visitor to her room the nights they brutally assaulted her. He was the one who came to check on her - on the other men. Olivia saw the gun in his hand, an automatic weapon she knew she stood no chance against. Even if she killed him with the first bullet in a split second, he'd have time to pull the trigger and shower her in bullets before he hit the ground. She backed up.

"Well - looks like it's all over." Andrew teased her in the dark, looming at 6 foot 5, chillingly charming in the looks of his young facial features.

"They're going to kill you all." Olivia spat, taking another step backward.

"You think after keeping this place hidden for months, we wouldn't have an escape plan?" He cocked the gun, making Olivia jump.

"Think again." He smiled eerily.

"They're already on their way up here."

"Oh - but I won't take long."

He pulled the trigger.


End file.
